I have suffered with low self esteem and feelings of NO self worth for a large chunk of my life. I’ve never felt valued, lacked self confidence and have longed to feel accepted.
I do believe that most human beings desire to feel all the above but when does it get so desperate that it effects our everyday thinking? It effects our behaviours and the way we react?
I am what people would describe as an outgoing, larger than life person but inside it’s quite the opposite and it’s taken a long time and a lot of perseverance to get to how I feel today. I have frequently avoided tasks to prevent myself from failing. I’ve avoided social situations as I never thought I was interesting enough. I would never ask for support as I thought it made me weak when I wanted to be strong.
I try and treat myself like I would treat a child. I suppose I address my inner child when things get tough. With children, most people would encourage and nurture. You wouldn’t tell a child that their painting that they took hours to do was ugly, you would praise them for effort or use of colour. People would encourage children to explore what’s good for them. That’s the approach I try and take with myself.
You always hear people say, ‘always be kind’ but we generally forget to be kind to ourselves. Overtime, I have learnt that this is so significant. Self discovery really is the most amazing thing- knowing yourself, exploring yourself, gaining experiences that directly help you to grow. Perfecting the art of reflection is a fine thing, know what matters to you and what works for you and your life.
Submerging yourself in the things that you like and enjoy will always build your confidence. We can not all be born with skills that we desire, however we can build on them and try and enjoy the process of achieving them, building on self worth and gratification.
For me, positive affirmations have really helped and creating small manageable goals to almost ‘create evidence‘ that I can do it. Tell yourself you can and you will!
Surround yourself with what you love.