Updated: Mar 26, 2019
This will be one of my hardest post. Because everyone grieves in different ways and no two people will have the same experience and emotions attached.
However, at some point in our lives we will face an unexplainable tragedy.
Losing someone close to our hearts who we thought would be around forever is no more. How do you even register this, it is a nightmare that you can't wake up from. How do you find happiness again, how do you cope?
Guilt, anger and sadness will play a huge role in what comes next, and many more unexpected emotions will surface. Thoughts that will race through your mind; why did this happen, what more could I have done, life is so f***ing cruel. Why does it always happen to good people, why not me? Why didn’t I spend more time with them, I never replied to their last message. How will I ever get through this, how will I ever be happy again.
The heavy pain will weigh you down, your brain will not know how to comprehend such grief. It doesn't seem real and the thought of that person just walking into your room right now will make all the pain go away.
I have known a few people close to home who have taken their own life because of their mental health issues, drug problems and life challenges. What it does to those who are left behind is heart breaking, truly truly heart-breaking that they feel this aggressive pain.
You have to now cherish those memories, those last moments you spent together. Think of all those happy times and what that person has taught you, they were in your life for a reason and that was to bring you love and joy. The pain and suffering will not get easier over time, but time will give you a chance to heal and let their spirit grow through you.
To talk about your loved one is so hugely important, to make sure that you find people who also knew them and remember them for who they were.
What can you do?
- Find a charity that was close to their heart.
- Surround yourself with people who knew them and make sure you share stories and memories, keep their spirit alive.
- Say a prayer for them.
- Write to them, write down how you feel.
- Get professional support to ensure you keep yourself in a positive place.
- Look after yourself, they’d want that.
I want everyone to know that no one is to blame, unfortunately these awful, awful things happen, for no reason, it is cruel and evil and makes you question life and the world we live in. But we would not be put through this if we weren't strong enough to handle it. They are now in a safe and peaceful place. They will always be with you, smiling down. If you are having a bad day, look up and talk to them, they will be listening, they will hear you and guide you through.
We need to take action towards mental health and take it seriously because it is real. Life is precious and everyone is going through their own battle, so kindness is the only way we can truly help others. Send a text to that person you are thinking about, tell people you love them more and offer a hug or a listening ear if you know someone who is struggling. Don't wait for a sign or for tomorrow, do it now! Live your life with no regrets and ensure that you only give out love and kindness to those around you, you never know what someone's breaking point may be.
I want to state to men who think it's embarrassing to show your true emotions or think that men should not cry or talk about their feelings are wrong. You are human and you have every right to express how you feel, it is toxic to bottle up emotion so please, please talk.
We all make mistakes and no one is perfect, but that doesn't define who you are. Every day is a chance to start again and for those who can't see a future, hold onto hope and believe that one day things will change. Nothing is permanent and we all deserve to live a happy life. Don't think you aren't good enough because we are all equal on this planet.
Don't suffer in silence and don't suffer alone.
Now make sure you do something for you, be more mindful, and appreciate the little things.