EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

So often we wonder about the 'whys' in life, 'why did this happen?' 'why me?' 'why now?' But the bumps in the road are an inevitable part of life that soften us, make us grow and bestow upon us the virtue of compassion. Often it is only with the passing of time that it becomes clear that the cloud really did have a silver lining and how we have wisdom, strength and hope to share. At last we understand the true meaning of the phrase 'Everything happens for a reason.'

If you are struggling and finding it hard to cope, here are a few tips to keep you going...

TAKE IT DAY BY DAY

Think about your plan for the day, enjoy one day at a time. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is unknown, so live for now. 

Set a goal for the day, even if it's just getting out of bed and having a shower, reading a book or going for a walk.

Do something that makes you feel mastery.

IMPROVING HOW YOU FEEL

  1. What can I do?
    Firstly identify how you feel or what symptoms are presenting, unhelpful thoughts provoke unpleasant feelings and actions.

  2. Challenge your thinking?
    Think of your situation form another point of view. A thought can trigger an emotion. It may not be the situation or the words but how we perceive that persons actions or the situation. Unhelpful thinking styles that have become a habit towards unhelpful negative feelings. 

  3. How can I change my thinking?
    Think 'how can I reverse my original thoughts and take into account other possible viewpoints' try and find a positive helpful thought, replace it with the original negative one and then try to not dwell on the negative as it's easy to get caught there. 

Assertive Thinking

- I have the right to say no

- I have the right to change my mind

- I have the right to say no or I don't understand

- I have the right to offer no reason or excuse for justifying my behaviour

- You have the right to disagree with someones opinion

- You have the right to judge your own behaviour, thoughts and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.

Unassertive Thinking

- It will be extremely embarrassing if I say what I really think

- I will look big headed if I accept a compliment

- I shouldn't say what i'm really thinking or feeling because I don't want to burden anyone with my problems

- It will be terribly embarrassing if i say what i think

- I have no right to change my mind, neither has anyone else

- If someone says no to my request it means they don't like me

- People should keep their feelings to themselves 

We hold beliefs about ourselves, which can make it difficult for us to be assertive, so we need to change the way we think. For example, you may have been told as a child not to express sadness as people will make fun of you. However as an adult we may still hold this belief even though we are not in the same situation. As a result you may not be able to express sadness and it may result in you being stresses, depressed and not connected with yourself.
Ask yourself these questions: Is this belief true? Does this belief make sense? Does this belief help me?

THINK HAPPY

Laughter is the Best Medicine

  • When laughing you release happy endorphins into your body triggering healthy physical changes.

  • Having compassion for people and connecting with them helps us enjoy better mental and physical health.

  • Acts of kindness can contribute to making you and others feeling good.

Above the Clouds

Sometimes our path seems to be filled with roadblocks, and we wonder why life is so difficult. Things happen that leave us feeling as though we have little control over our circumstances. This is a time to remember that hope is a gift we can give to ourselves. When we choose this attitude and tap into our inner reserves, we are rewarded with the knowledge of what we have learned in life. The decision to look forward, stay positive and remain hopeful is a key that unlocks the door to possibilities, and, when shared, returns to renew the spirit. May hope be your blessing every day.

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